Cart 0

'MAKING MY HAIR GREAT AGAIN' - DONALD TRUMP

SUNDAY, AUGUST 21, 2016

 

That anyone can look at Donald Trump's 'hair' and see a kind of JFK style, all-American thatch speaks of a myopia that means American voters may well walk off a cliff. There it is: orange candyfloss that has been patted down a little and 'shaped' - jutting out from his head like a hairy diving board. It's so fake that it makes really bad wigs look good. It is meta hair...an idea of hair, an impression of hair...a dream of hair - a deep shag-pile, quiffy mop that Trump hopes will fool you into conjuring up images of him...'fans' ruffling it, Trump shaking it out, wet from the pool, Trump booming along Pacific Coast Highway 1 in an open top without ill-effect....

I would like to see JFK's hair in a head to head, (ho, ho) with Trump's wispy cloud of strawberry-blonde...rotating on plinths and closely examined under spotlight and X-Ray.

Perhaps then it might sink into the American psyche...that Trump's hair is The Emperor's Clothes of hair and that might tell them something about his overall authenticity as a PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE...but probably not...they know it already and they DON'T CARE. They love celebrating the artifice...like saying the line 'making America great again'. It's not real and that's part of the fun....no one can stop really fake people once they start being applauded for being so. It's not that he's pretending he's not bald that's the problem. It's that he's pretending he's not PRETENDING. My hair is real! The colour is natural...it has the Day-Glo of youth!

Trump's hair is the new American Dream.

Americans!...you too can have a full head of naturally coloured hair, like Trump, if you just want it badly enough. Anyone can! That's what made America great....and Donald's hair is an embodiment of American greatness. Look at it! Fabulously glossy, sheening with wealth and health...and ageless...hair like an eternal flame! Yes, America will one day be as great (again) as Trump's hair is now!

The trouble is that Trump's hair is, rather, a realization of the American Nightmare. Artificial to the point of comedy, puffed up, overblown, tragically self-deluded, so much so that Americans can look at the vile Trump monstrosity, and say yes, that is what I want America to be!

 



Older Post Newer Post